you can post all you want but if you aren't aware that i can see and accurately read tons into what you're saying then either you're lying to yourself or you are doing it on purpose
half of me wants to eat like a normal person because I have this conceptual “new Delilah” who doesn’t give a shit about what anybody thinks and has decided to give these new people the most authentic Delilah anybody has ever gotten
and the other half of me never wants to eat again
#dnr #vent #Ed cw #ed tw #eating disorder #I can’t seem to find a middle ground #where I get to eat a moderate amount and not want to fucking die #because that’s what it is #when you think about it #I’ve always been one of two extremes and there aren’t many people who like both extremes #so by being this new Delilah id be weeding out the people who don’t like either #or only like one #but also I could stop eating and become the docile little creature people seem to tolerate and just take what I can get3 notes
i'm too emotional to reasonably say that this is just about them. it's about the fact that i hate where i am and who i am and what i'm doing.
but i'm pretty sure they know that. they know that i hate where i am and what i'm doing.
but they're busy too and they're not having a great time at the moment so i should just cut them some slack--THAT SAID, it seems like all i do is cut them slack.
i just don't know
i'm very frustrated with people but because i'm frustrated over text i'm willing to bet really good money that they'll never know.
chances are i'll just sit here quietly seething with frustration and one day i'll go off on them and then they'll be like "woah what the hell" and i won't have a good answer other than "oh sorry i guess i just didn't have the balls to tell you that i'm frustrated with the way you responded to an otherwise very sweet, cute idea."
so i had a migraine earlier and decided to medicate for it so i went and got a bottle of what i assumed to be naproxen and shook 2 out but naproxen is blue and the pills were white and i had taken them before it registered that they were white. prior to this i had had wine with lunch so i was panicking about a great many things including but not limited to: interactions between the mystery drug and the wine, what the mystery drug was, and how the whole deal would affect me. flash forward to dinner where i decided that some sake would be a great idea, completely forgetting the fact that I HAD HAD A MYSTERY DRUG NOT MORE THAN TWO HOURS EARLIER.
so tl;dr, delilah is an idiot. i'm fine though