coffee and yarn

delilah | 18 | she/her | bi | tired

about me

crownedwithwisteria asked:


Ethylamine: What sound do you love?

the laughter of others. real laughter--the kind where you can tell that they are just losing their shit because whatever happened was so funny

lina asked:

Ketene and oleum :)

Ketene: What is something you learned in the last week?

i will, in fact, eat sonic for lunch 3 days in a row

Oleum: If one song were to describe your life, what song would it be?

oh this is going to get depressing real quick. it's a hot tie between hollywood by jukebox the ghost and autoclave by the mountain goats

witchesflower asked:

Bromine, Hexafluoroacetone, and Ketene!

Bromine: What was your favorite food when you were a child?

balsamic pork medallions

Hexafluoroacetone: What do you want to be when you grow up?

a teacher!

Ketene: What is something you learned in the last week?

tik tok lesbians find me attractive and it is the weirdest goddamn feeling in the world

i have a drug screen tomorrow (pre-employment) and nothing makes me more anxious than a test that i know i'll pass bc i've never touched a single drug on that 5 panel in my life

goropancakechi -

Send me a highly toxic chemical in my ask box (taken from here)


Acetaldehyde: What did you used to have that you are happier without?

Bromine: What was your favorite food when you were a child?

Cyanogen: If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?

Diazomethane: If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

Ethylamine: What sound do you love?

Formaldehyde: If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose?

Hexafluoroacetone: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Isopropylamine: What do you miss most about being a kid?

Ketene: What is something you learned in the last week?

Methacrylaldehyde: Would you rather be really attractive or really smart?

Nitromethane: What are your phobias?

Oleum: If one song were to describe your life, what song would it be?

Pentaborane: What is one habit of yours that no one knows about?

Sarin: What annoys you the most?

Trifluorochloroethylene: If you could change your first and middle name to anything, what would it be?

Heather Candle

I was in a Heathers mood.

my boss: hey, can you do this thing really quick? it's kind of tedious, and i know it's a sunday, but we need it done.

me: no problem

me *after working for a little bit*: hey boss, can i ask you a question about this?

my boss: *crickets*

coffeeandyarn reblogged lina

lina -

Målsryd - 23.07.19

coffeeandyarn reblogged fallow
conner-kent -

I kneel into a dream where I
am good and loved. I am
good. I am loved. My hands have made
some good mistakes. They can always
make better

Natalie Wee, “Least of All” from Our Bodies and Other Fine Machines

coffeeandyarn reblogged lina

robot -

hand studies

first hand is my own but the second two were locally grown by two of my lovely friends

and the following is on depression

i have eaten 4 large cupcakes in the past two days (normally i can't even finish 1 in 2 days) for the express purpose of making myself feel worse. i am well aware that this is not normal, but in a family where weight loss is a constant topic (and the family history of eating disorders IS NOT a topic), nobody looks at it as anything weird.

goropancakechi -

I may not be the smartest person but at least I don't yell at retail workers

delilah has more feelings

adults over 25 keep telling me to cut off a specific person bc how he treats me counts as neglect (it counts as neglect to them, though i do indeed feel neglected), but i don't want to cut myself off bc he's trying to work on himself and heal (i think. not that he would tell me), and what if tomorrow he tells me he loves me? what if tomorrow he puts time and effort into making sure that i know he's okay?

and on the other hand, what if i die next week having cut him off today and then i'll have died with him being unhappy with me?

i've thought a lot more about my own death in the last few months. i can't die right now--it's out of the question. i'm responsible for the wellbeing of my family, whether i like it or not. it's a feeling that feels unique to eldest siblings (or so I've been told), so i'm not surprised that when i tell him that i am responsible for a 52 year old man who can't seem to keep himself under control, a 2 surgeries in 3 month post op 3 weeks mother who is feeling useless and thus lashes out accordingly, and a 10 year old boy who is caught in the middle of everything and trying to deal with me leaving for college in the fall--that the person in question doesn't seem to respond to my situation with any kind of sympathy or empathy that i can recognize.

and i flip flop between caring and not caring about how he feels about me and my life. one day, i'm fine with not knowing, and the next, i desperately want to know that he cares about me. i want my friend back, and i had that for a while, and then things happened and now i've got nothing. i don't even know if i'm supposed to bother him until he tells me what's going on (bc sometimes that's just what you're supposed to do) or leave him alone until he comes to me with whatever is bothering him. both have, at one point or another, been the right answer.

i wished his nephew a happy birthday the other day. that kid is so sweet. how am i supposed to wish him a happy birthday again if i cut off his uncle?

i don't mean to sound like i'm whining. i'm just so goddamn tired of being responsible. it's not like i haven't done this before. you'd think i'd be more used to being this.

i love him. that's the only thing that matters, in the end. i would do anything for him. i gave him a lot of myself, and at this point i guess i just won't get any of it back.

coffee -

made a dnd character thats just an occasionally murderous golden retriever

babushka -

is he literally or metaphorically

coffee -

literally, definitely literally

cw delilah has a lot of feelings

nothing in my life is stable right now and I've articulated that fact to 3 people--my mother, my favourite person on the planet, and *her*. (We'll call her Sofia, for the purpose of this post).

as some of you know, I started a tiktok account, and I didn't tell most of my friends because I hold my work to an incredibly high standard and I needed somewhere to be subpar. So Sofia comes along and follows me, and she likes the subpar work I've put out there. She thinks I'm pretty and fun and wants to hear what I have to say--so much so that she makes an effort to keep up the conversation. It's more real and deep conversation than I've had in a while too.

i think she's fantastic. She has green hair and a wonderful smile and she's super fucking pretty and she's so kind. The world has not been nice to her at all, and she chose to be kind--at least, kind to me. I can't speak to how she is around other people.

I have been craving the exchange of a type of attention that makes my heart go soft for MONTHS and now I have it and I can’t help but feel guilty even though she makes me happy and I’m pretty sure I make her happy and why in my life has happy always been accompanied by guilt??

we're friends. Just friends. and that is how we will remain. I can't handle anything at the moment--much less the implications of ever wanting more.

besides, I'm still holding out hope that a specific someone cares about me. It's a hard thing to justify, but everybody has one or two hard to justify things that they hold on to.

another commission for scoob!

this one was a quite challenging but i feel like i've learned a lot from drawing it!

i am on three hours of sleep, just trying to join the weekly digital marketing call, and my brother has decided that NOW is the best time to watch tv and take up all of the bandwidth in the house

i've started putting on a full face of makeup for conference calls and now it's become a habit help